After my break-up.. I havent been capable of dating anyone.
I know its been over a year already, but.. I dont think im ready yet.
I dont want to take the risk of getting hurt again. I went thru so much pain. It took months to get over what he did.
I really miss being loved.. I want to feel it again.
I want someone I can love and trust.. Someone who will take care of me.
Will I ever find my soulmate?
Is there a soulmate for everyone?
Only God knows.
Love can make you so blind.
Love can make you do incredible things. It can make you do stupid things.
When you love somebody, you will do anything for the person you love.
Breaking up is always so hard. In the beginning it hurts, ALOT. Just give yourself time and you will forget.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Loving you just gave me pain.
I remember the day I met you and the times we spent together.. I remember the times you were holding me and when you told me, everything would be okey..
I was so in love with you. I felt so loved, I thought for once that some one actually cared about me. I thought about you every minute of everyday. I thought we would last forever. I thought you were the one for me. You were like my drug. I couldn't live without you.
When I was around you, I forgot about everything else around me. You made me feel like I was the only girl in the world.
You would be driving the car, and i would just look at you, and you would notice. You would give me that cute smile and grab my hand and say "I love you".
Sometimes I felt like everything was just a dream. How did I find a guy like him. You used to sing to me all the amazing love songs that would make me melt in your hands. You called and send me text messages everyday. I trusted you. I loved you. I couldn't live without you.
You promised you would never hurt me, you promised you would never leave me. "I will be with you forever".
Few Months Later...
I couldn't sleep, my eyes were red and swollen cause of all the crying.
He left me, he really did leave me.. Why did this happen to me?
All along he had been cheating and lying.
Love made me so blind. I had travelled for a month, and in the mean while.. He had been with several different girls.
I got depressed. No one had ever hurt me like this. I cant describe the pain I had.. I thought nothing mattered anymore, I wanted to die.. I thought my life was over..
Now its been about a year and four months since this happened.. Until now I didn't date anyone. I don't want to take the risk of getting hurt again. I dont want to feel the pain all over again.
He ruined my life. I'm scared of getting hurt. I don't trust anyone anymore.
The good thing is now I've learned.. Not to trust ANYONE 100%.
All of this has made me such a strong person. Now I just look back and think 'What an asshole he is' . I never thought I would get over him, but I did. It just needs alot of time.
<3
Hopefully, someday, I will learn how to love again.
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!
I was so in love with you. I felt so loved, I thought for once that some one actually cared about me. I thought about you every minute of everyday. I thought we would last forever. I thought you were the one for me. You were like my drug. I couldn't live without you.
When I was around you, I forgot about everything else around me. You made me feel like I was the only girl in the world.
You would be driving the car, and i would just look at you, and you would notice. You would give me that cute smile and grab my hand and say "I love you".
Sometimes I felt like everything was just a dream. How did I find a guy like him. You used to sing to me all the amazing love songs that would make me melt in your hands. You called and send me text messages everyday. I trusted you. I loved you. I couldn't live without you.
You promised you would never hurt me, you promised you would never leave me. "I will be with you forever".
Few Months Later...
I couldn't sleep, my eyes were red and swollen cause of all the crying.
He left me, he really did leave me.. Why did this happen to me?
All along he had been cheating and lying.
Love made me so blind. I had travelled for a month, and in the mean while.. He had been with several different girls.
I got depressed. No one had ever hurt me like this. I cant describe the pain I had.. I thought nothing mattered anymore, I wanted to die.. I thought my life was over..
Now its been about a year and four months since this happened.. Until now I didn't date anyone. I don't want to take the risk of getting hurt again. I dont want to feel the pain all over again.
He ruined my life. I'm scared of getting hurt. I don't trust anyone anymore.
The good thing is now I've learned.. Not to trust ANYONE 100%.
All of this has made me such a strong person. Now I just look back and think 'What an asshole he is' . I never thought I would get over him, but I did. It just needs alot of time.
<3
Hopefully, someday, I will learn how to love again.
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!
Qatar
We had finally landed, Doha airport. Here it began, my new life.
We went to get our suitcases. I left most of my stuff in Finland. Mum kept on complaining how we cant take too much things with us, since its 20kg per person.
We stepped outside the airport. The weather was way too hot. It was like a sauna. How could i learn to live with this weather? How can anyone live in this heat? I saw my dad waving at us. My mum was really happy since he hadnt seen his husband for a long time. Dad came to hug me, but I didnt hug him back. I was still really upset that they made us move here. "Dont worry, you will love it here"... "Yah, right." I thought.
I opened the door of our new "home". It was bigger than our own house. It was still a flat tho. We lived now in the fifth floor. I was walking thru the house, until i found my room. Wow, i had my own balcony? I opened the door and the scenery was amazing. It was late at night. It was dark, and still really hot outside. A few cars driving here and there. The wind was blowing nice and softly on my face.
I went back inside, laid down on my bed, closed my eyes and fell asleep..
We went to get our suitcases. I left most of my stuff in Finland. Mum kept on complaining how we cant take too much things with us, since its 20kg per person.
We stepped outside the airport. The weather was way too hot. It was like a sauna. How could i learn to live with this weather? How can anyone live in this heat? I saw my dad waving at us. My mum was really happy since he hadnt seen his husband for a long time. Dad came to hug me, but I didnt hug him back. I was still really upset that they made us move here. "Dont worry, you will love it here"... "Yah, right." I thought.
I opened the door of our new "home". It was bigger than our own house. It was still a flat tho. We lived now in the fifth floor. I was walking thru the house, until i found my room. Wow, i had my own balcony? I opened the door and the scenery was amazing. It was late at night. It was dark, and still really hot outside. A few cars driving here and there. The wind was blowing nice and softly on my face.
I went back inside, laid down on my bed, closed my eyes and fell asleep..
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The biggest change in my life
Its amazing how your whole life can change in a matter of seconds.
I never imagined two years ago that i would move away from my home country. After that I realized, anything is possible. Anything can happen.
Two years ago in 2008 I lived in my home country, Finland. It is the country where I was born and raised.I had the most amazing friends, loved my school, everything was perfect. Until we heard the news, we are moving to Qatar. My first question was what the hell is Qatar, and where is it? My dad already lived in Qatar, because of his job there and that was the reason why we were moving. I couldn't believe i would leave my home. "My home is here", i told my mum. The thing that hurt me the most was that our parents decided that we are moving without even asking our opinion. I got depressed, I was really mad at my parents, I lost my respect for them.
I remember being at school and new students came to my class, some from the U.S, some from Austria. We had many nationalities in my school, since it was a international school. I always thought "Thank god i don't have to leave Finland, leave my home". But now it was happening for me.
The last night in Finland, August 21st 2008.. All of my friends came to say good bye. It was an emotional night for all of us. Most of them were my childhood friends. I couldn't believe that I wont see all these people for a year or maybe even two years. I couldn't stop crying, my friends couldn't stop crying. That night I realized what true friends are and who are my true friends. All these people were having school the next day, it was mid-night but everyone was there. Saying goodbye for me. I remember, it was raining. It was dark and cold. No one cared, I didn't care. It was time for me to leave. I stepped inside the bus, sat down and looked out from the window one more time. I saw all the people i care about and all the people I love. I was just scared that it would be the last time I would ever see them. The bus started moving, I gave my friends an air kiss and waved goodbye.
I was sitting in the airplane, looking around. Some people were alone, some people with their families.
My seat was next to the window. Me and my brother were always fighting about who would sit next to the window. I hated waiting, I'm not a patient person at all.
Finally they announced "Everyone please close your seat belt, our flight to Heathrow airport is about to take off. The flight will take about three hours in total. Thank you"
I looked out of the window as the plane was taking off.
Thinking this will be a new beginning. My life was about to change.
I never imagined two years ago that i would move away from my home country. After that I realized, anything is possible. Anything can happen.
Two years ago in 2008 I lived in my home country, Finland. It is the country where I was born and raised.I had the most amazing friends, loved my school, everything was perfect. Until we heard the news, we are moving to Qatar. My first question was what the hell is Qatar, and where is it? My dad already lived in Qatar, because of his job there and that was the reason why we were moving. I couldn't believe i would leave my home. "My home is here", i told my mum. The thing that hurt me the most was that our parents decided that we are moving without even asking our opinion. I got depressed, I was really mad at my parents, I lost my respect for them.
I remember being at school and new students came to my class, some from the U.S, some from Austria. We had many nationalities in my school, since it was a international school. I always thought "Thank god i don't have to leave Finland, leave my home". But now it was happening for me.
The last night in Finland, August 21st 2008.. All of my friends came to say good bye. It was an emotional night for all of us. Most of them were my childhood friends. I couldn't believe that I wont see all these people for a year or maybe even two years. I couldn't stop crying, my friends couldn't stop crying. That night I realized what true friends are and who are my true friends. All these people were having school the next day, it was mid-night but everyone was there. Saying goodbye for me. I remember, it was raining. It was dark and cold. No one cared, I didn't care. It was time for me to leave. I stepped inside the bus, sat down and looked out from the window one more time. I saw all the people i care about and all the people I love. I was just scared that it would be the last time I would ever see them. The bus started moving, I gave my friends an air kiss and waved goodbye.
I was sitting in the airplane, looking around. Some people were alone, some people with their families.
My seat was next to the window. Me and my brother were always fighting about who would sit next to the window. I hated waiting, I'm not a patient person at all.
Finally they announced "Everyone please close your seat belt, our flight to Heathrow airport is about to take off. The flight will take about three hours in total. Thank you"
I looked out of the window as the plane was taking off.
Thinking this will be a new beginning. My life was about to change.
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